When I found out

In early July, I went to my lady doctor for a yearly checkup. As usual, I booked my mammogram at the same time. You know, get it all over with at once.

I told my doctor about all the craziness that was going on. In addition to the COVID pandemic, Jeff was laid off in September, Griffin was homeschooling for the end of fifth grade and the first half of sixth grade, and in April, I found out I had a genetic heart defect that led me to several months of tests. In June, my dermatologist told me that the weird spot on my head was basal cell skin cancer that required surgery and a fabulous half-shaved haircut!

So when I got a phone call that the tech had seen something unusual on my mammogram, I immediately thought, "Yep, that sounds about right. Bring it on."

I had extra imaging done, then a biopsy and was told that it was breast cancer. I don't remember having any kind of feelings at all. You hear about people saying, "When I heard the C-word ..." But I went immediately to asking what's next.

My emotions are often all over the place, but when it comes to health stuff, for some reason, I'm very practical. I loved being pregnant, but I didn't see the delivery as a magical moment. I saw it as a medical procedure to get my son safely into the world.

So I pretty much had the same thought about the cancer. I guess I see it as more of a process than a journey.

I was trying to explain the details of the diagnosis to Jeff, and I said, "I have invasive ductal carcinoma. That means that it started in my milk dud."

"Milk dud?" he asked. "The chocolate caramel candy?"

As soon as I realized what I said, we started to laugh. And it felt good. I hope we can carry our humor throughout this process. I'm sure we're gonna need it.

I was required to wear one of their masks, which made me sneeze, so I had my own mask on, then theirs. I'm also wearing a hat because my hair hasn't grown back from the skin cancer surgery. But hey, the good news is that all of my colors sort of blend.